Sigh. I am tired and emotional and I found myself thinking of my darling nanny. Then Elora wanted some orange, so I was distracted whilst I set myself the task of choosing an orange and slicing it up and putting it in a bowl and choosing a pinny of her to wear.

And the pinny I chose was one she has never worn before. Nanny gave it to me years ago.

And I started thinking about nanny again. How I won’t see her this Christmas. And I think I might cry as I type this but I can see her grey eyes and hear her voice and she LOVES me. And I KNOW she would be telling me to put the iPad down and cuddle my daughter because she wants my attention and her pinny is not really worth my time. But it is. I am treasuring the pinny. It’s like when I hold the pinny and hold my daughter wearing the pinny it’s like I am having a cuppa with my nanny! Gah. Tears.

Nanny made this pinny out of a beautiful thick woven cotton that has the cutest pattern of puppies on a gingham background. It is crazy-well-made, with neat facings and the neatest hand-sewn hems. The meticulous care she put into her work is so admirable and inspiring.

She is the woman who taught me much about myself, gave me confidence in who I am. She encouraged my writing more than anybody ever has and she always listened to me and prayed for me and sang to me, even the last time I spoke to her, she sang to me.

This is the day
That The Lord as made
Let us rejoice
And be glad in it.

I can still hear her.